How do I move forward after a passing?
When it still doesn’t feel real that they’re gone.
Losing someone you love changes the rhythm of everything. The world keeps turning, but you feel suspended in disbelief, as though your heart hasn’t caught up with what your mind already knows. You may wake up and, for a split second, expect them to still be here. That moment between remembering and realizing can take your breath away.
If you’re in that space right now—unsure how to move forward, unable to believe that they’re gone—please know you’re not alone. I see this often in my work at Carson Funeral Home, and I’ve felt it in my own life, too.
I often refer to my studies through HeartMath.
Grief is not logical. It doesn’t follow a timeline or look the same for everyone. Some days you may feel strong and steady; others, you may feel like you’re unraveling. Both are completely natural.
What matters most is that you give yourself permission to feel what’s real for you today. The heart needs time to process what it can’t yet accept.
KEEP THEIR PRESENCE CLOSE
When we lose someone, our first instinct is to hold on to their scent, their voice, their belongings, their stories—so do that.
Say their name. Tell their stories. Look at their pictures.
You’re not holding on “too long.” You’re allowing your heart to stay connected as it learns to live differently. Love doesn’t end when life does; it simply finds new ways to express itself.
CREATE SMALL RITUALS OF CONNECTION
Sometimes what helps most are small acts. Light a candle at night. Write them a letter. Visit a place you shared. Take a slow breath and imagine sending them your love with your exhale.
These rituals can bridge disbelief and acceptance, helping you find grounding when everything feels uncertain. Through my HeartMath work, I’ve seen how intentional breathing and heartfelt focus can soften the edges of grief and bring a quiet sense of calm to the body.
LET OTHRES WALK WITH YOU
Grief can make you feel isolated, as though no one could possibly understand what you’re carrying. But connection is one of the most healing things we have.
Reach out to a trusted friend, a family member, a support group, or even someone like me at the funeral home. Sometimes you don’t need advice or answers—you just need someone to listen while you speak their name out loud.
MOVING FORWARD DOESN’T MEAN LEAVING THEM BEHIND
You don’t get over a loss; you grow around it. Moving forward doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving them, it means you’re finding ways to carry them with you differently. As time unfolds, you may notice their presence in new ways: a song that plays when you need it most, a gentle sign, a sudden sense of peace. That’s love continuing—steady and quiet—reminding you that you’re still connected.
IN CLOSING
If you’re in disbelief, give your heart time to catch up. There’s no rush, no rulebook, and no finish line in grief.
Be gentle with yourself.
Breathe deeply.
Take one moment at a time.
You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin moving toward healing. Just being willing to take the next small step—even if it’s simply allowing yourself to feel—is enough.
If you or someone you love is struggling to find steady ground after a loss, please know you don’t have to walk this road alone. I’m here to listen, to guide, and to help you find calm in the space where the heart feels most fragile.
You can reach out to me at Carson Funeral Homes in Midland—sometimes the first step toward healing begins with a gentle conversation.
Until next time, with compassion and care,
Wishing you peace and warmth.
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