In the early days of grief, it’s as if the loss is stitched into every breath. The ache is sharp, constant, and consuming. You wake up with it. You go to bed with it. You know you’re grieving and everyone else does too. It’s expected. It’s raw and visible.
But then, time moves on. You begin to laugh again, find joy in small moments, and maybe even feel a sense of guilt for doing so. People stop asking how you’re doing. Life resumes its rhythm. And yet… months or years later, there you are folding laundry, stopped at a red light, or walking through the grocery store and a wave hits. Out of nowhere. It grips your chest. It takes your breath. You weren’t thinking about your loss. But suddenly, there it is. The pain. Like it never left.
I’ve learned through HeartMath why this happens to most of us at one time or another. 🤔
Because grief doesn’t live on a timeline. It’s not a task you check off a list. It embeds itself in your body, in your memory, in your nervous system. Your heart remembers, (because your heart is a muscle and muscle has memory) when your mind is focused on something else. A smell, a song, the way the sunlight comes through the window, any of it can stir that deep place inside you where your love still lives. And where your grief still echoes.
Pain shows up because love does. And it shows up because your loss mattered. You’re not “back to square one.” You’re human. You’re healing. And healing doesn’t mean forgetting or being done. It means learning how to carry what you’ve lost and accepting that sometimes, it still carries you.
So the next time grief visits in the middle of nowhere, instead of fighting it, maybe just pause. Breathe. Let the tears fall if they need to. It’s not weakness. It’s love. And love like that never really goes away.
It’s alright to be in the moment wherever and whenever ♥️
Until next time with compassion and care, wishing you peace and warmth 🙏
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
For over 35 years, Lauri-Anne Canzanese has dedicated her life to supporting the mental health and emotional well-being of others as a HeartMath-certified coach, MBSR coach, and a mental health and addictions coach. She's a Funeral Director Assistant at Carson Funeral Homes. Click here to learn more about Lauri-Anne.